tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74904478964355405952024-02-18T17:33:14.017-08:00The MacKenzie Family CircusThe MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.comBlogger385125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-13901791748635738802015-12-26T09:58:00.001-08:002015-12-26T09:58:08.692-08:00Friends with Bennet. Fits.<div>
<div>Me: "Guys! Great news! Season 6 of Downton Abbey is out!"</div>
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<div>Son 2: "I can't wait to find out which white girl Mr. Darcy marries!"</div>
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<div>Me: "There's no Darcy in Downton."</div>
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<div>Son 1: "I'm pretty sure at least 30% of the men are Darcy. And 50% of the women."</div>The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-28480548999054906282015-12-20T07:37:00.002-08:002015-12-20T07:40:10.069-08:00Sheepish ExpressionSon 2: "Wait.... Jesus is the lamb?"<br />
Me: "Yes."<br />
Son 2: "Because he's also the shepherd. That doesn't seem like a very good idea."<br />
Me: "He did get crucified."<br />
Son 1 : "So the system doesn't work?"The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-43288207110166771852015-10-01T07:41:00.002-07:002015-10-01T07:41:31.734-07:00I Was Made for Starvin' YouRadio: "Trump says if he becomes president, he would turn the Syrian refugees back. He says some refugees could be members of ISIS"<br />
Me: "AARGHHH!"<br />
Son 2: "Technically, that's true. They could also be members of KISS"<br />
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The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-68144771750604247632015-09-09T08:52:00.005-07:002015-09-09T08:54:21.428-07:00Natural Insurrection<div>
Son 2: "I hate school."</div>
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Grandpa: "Everyone hates school."</div>
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Son 2 & Me: "No they don't!"</div>
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Grandpa: "Just trying to be agreeable."</div>
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Son 2: "Stop. It's unnatural."</div>
The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-1818329271064127882015-07-04T09:05:00.002-07:002015-07-04T09:08:27.850-07:00Projectile CetaceanMe: "What's that toy you throw around sometimes?"<br />
Son 2: "The orca... you know... the penguin-whale."<br />
Me: "Penguin-whale?"<br />
Son 1: "It's like a penguin, in that a whale also doesn't fly."The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-43243720904102447512015-06-30T15:29:00.002-07:002015-06-30T15:29:25.102-07:00Rhetorical PlanningMe: "I might get to that show tonight. I don't know. I'll get there if I get there."<br />
Son 2: "Well tautologied."<br />
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The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-61247396162125476522015-06-21T18:57:00.000-07:002015-06-21T18:57:19.676-07:00Punch. Line.Son 2: "What aren't you laughing?"<br />
Me: "Because your joke was so funny I'm paralyzed."<br />
Son 2: "Are you mocking me?"<br />
Me: "Would I mock you?"<br />
Son 2: "Have you met you?"The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-69013762810097827822015-05-26T07:44:00.001-07:002015-05-26T07:44:28.186-07:00Kris Dingle<div>
Dad: "You know there's no Santa Claus, right?"<br />Son 2: "Well, damn. Who have I been sending my nudes to all these years then?<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: -webkit-auto; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">"</span></div>
The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-15908066668381944432015-05-16T10:49:00.002-07:002015-05-16T10:49:25.283-07:00Terminal InactionSon 2: "Make him stop!"<br />Me: "Ignore him and he'll go away."<br />Son 2: "Mom, he's not cancer."The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-68186283182550911902015-04-26T08:18:00.001-07:002015-04-26T08:18:02.827-07:00Self-SufficiencyMe: "Next week my schedule gets really crazy. You're going to be on your own for supper some nights..."<br />Son 1: "Just roll crack the window and leave the toilet lid up and we'll be fine."The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-30704208915552417602015-04-25T11:47:00.003-07:002015-04-25T11:47:52.337-07:00Brit-Chick-FlickSon 2: "What are you watching?"<br />
Me: "Downton Abbey"<br />
Son 2: "Has Mr. Darcy shown up yet to help Sherlock solve the crime?"<br />
Me: "The BBC really needs to hire you."The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-74372557591032344352015-04-19T08:57:00.001-07:002015-04-19T08:57:10.994-07:00Credit Where Credit is DudeMe: "Yeah. A lot of Brecht's writings were actually written by the women in his life. But historically that's pretty common in both arts and science. Look at Rosalind Franklin and the discovery of the DNA double helix."<br />Grandpa: "What about Mrs. Einstein, how much did <i>she </i>really do? And Heisenberg's wife? The Uncertainty Principle definitely sounds like something a woman would come up with. Men aren't uncertain about <i>anything</i>."The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-43736143963720546732015-04-18T19:59:00.003-07:002015-04-18T19:59:56.767-07:00Cold ComfortSon 2: "ARGH! Your hands are freezing!"<br />Me: "I think you mispronounced 'refreshing'."The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-8956557482517014622015-04-13T10:43:00.000-07:002015-04-13T10:43:09.057-07:00Taxing SeasonMe: "I'm gross. Do you know why?"<br />Son 1: "Because your tax hasn't been deducted! Ha! Can't beat an accounting joke!"The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-6122632882595582152015-04-12T11:07:00.001-07:002015-04-12T11:07:21.548-07:00Crossing OverMe: "Thanks for re-watching <i>The Grand Budapest Hotel</i> with me."<br />
Son 2: "It was good. Will M. Gustave return in <i>The Avengers</i>?"The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-37347353735570237992015-04-05T11:02:00.003-07:002015-04-05T11:02:50.106-07:00Pork belly PoliticsMe: "Wow. This bacon is salty."<br />Son 2: "I think you mispronounced 'delicious'"The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-63424393655461191302015-03-29T11:01:00.001-07:002015-03-29T11:04:02.686-07:00Geek MythsSon 2: "Some people on the religious right believe there's a high rate of teen pregnancy because god wants it that way. So he impregnates girls. Kind of like Zeus who disguised himself as a swan."<br />
Son 1: "Except god appears in the form of a drunken frat-boy."The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-15780008058536861432015-03-25T06:55:00.000-07:002015-03-25T06:56:32.249-07:00Rebel HellMe: "You and beets. I hate beets. I should have raised you too believe you're allergic to beets."<br />
Son 1: "I would have tried them anyway, just to rebel."<br />
Me: "Really?"<br />
Son 1: "Yep. Just like how I rub cats on my face and huff pollen."The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-68692273486364636452015-03-14T10:09:00.000-07:002015-03-14T10:09:27.112-07:00Stay Glassy!Son 1: "Wine! I'll just drink it from the bottle!"<br />Son 2: "That will just make you look like an angry middle-aged woman."The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-39959792150101641412015-03-08T09:48:00.000-07:002015-03-08T09:48:32.854-07:00Hierarchy of Deed Me: "Look. I don't need your judgment."<br />Son 2: "No, but you're going to get it anyway, so consider it a luxury."The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-50056686576402309982015-03-07T08:06:00.001-08:002015-03-07T08:07:01.474-08:00Tex-Sex CuisineSon 2: "Wait... you mean a fish taco is a real thing?"The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-27898487706228798852015-02-24T20:57:00.001-08:002015-03-07T08:07:27.719-08:00Plausible DeniabilityGrandpa: "Good news! I showed the guys a crack pipe and they didn't know what it was. Or at least that's what they said."The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-74267058638115189162015-02-23T07:14:00.000-08:002015-02-23T07:16:53.546-08:00The Rating Game<div>
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Me: "How did you like the play?"</div>
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Son 1: "It was pretty good. I give it an Art out of 10."</div>
The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-38635909290589059762014-10-28T10:17:00.001-07:002014-10-28T10:17:42.554-07:00Snack TimeMe: "You can eat those rice cakes. I think Penny or Deanna left them."<br />
Son 2: "Are they stale?"<br />
Me: "No. They're unopened."<br />
Son 1: "Plus, they come already stale."The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7490447896435540595.post-46322911848415389612014-10-23T07:27:00.002-07:002014-10-23T07:27:32.323-07:00Love MarksMe: "I love you."<br />
Son 1: "I give you a 3 out of 5."<br />
Me: "Seriously?"<br />
Son 1: "Hey! It's almost a B!"The MacKenzie Family Circushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14024884548751092158noreply@blogger.com0