Saturday 21 July 2012

True.


Me: "Did your dad really give you some wine?"
Son 1: "Hey. It makes you funnier."

Friday 20 July 2012

Alien Encounter

Son 1: "Dad, first you said we could probably watch Alien, then you said it might be too disturbing.  If you keep flip-flopping like this, I’m not going to vote for you again."

Wednesday 18 July 2012

Demeanial Tasks


Me: "Please unload the dishwasher for me."
Son 2: "Mom. If we do it, how are you ever going to learn to do it yourself?"

Saturday 14 July 2012

TMI


Me: "So, do you have any girls you're interested in?"
Son 2: "Uhhh..."
Dad: "We already had that awkward conversation. It ended with me giving him a jumbo box of condoms."
Son 2: "You mean a box of jumbo sized condoms."

Thursday 12 July 2012

Landscraping


Me: "Did you leave a pile of metal in the backyard?"
Husband: "In my defense, some of it's sharp."

Wednesday 11 July 2012

The Evolution of Art

Son 1: "No one needs to know how to sing since they invented autotune, and no one needs to know how to dance since they invented awkward swaying."

Saturday 7 July 2012

Thursday 5 July 2012

Tuesday 3 July 2012

Impulse Control


Me: "That's a lot of chocolate bars."
Husband: "In my defense, they were on the shelf at eye level."

Monday 2 July 2012

No Shit

Son 2: "The people who make the Sherlock Holmes movies should just give all the money they would spend making the next ones to the people who make Sherlock the BBC series so they can make more episodes faster."