Geek Myths

Son 2: "Some people on the religious right believe there's a high rate of teen pregnancy because god wants it that way. So he impregnates girls. Kind of like Zeus who disguised himself as a swan."
Son 1: "Except god appears in the form of a drunken frat-boy."

Rebel Hell

Me: "You and beets. I hate beets. I should have raised you too believe you're allergic to beets."
Son 1: "I would have tried them anyway, just to rebel."
Me: "Really?"
Son 1: "Yep. Just like how I rub cats on my face and huff pollen."

Stay Glassy!

Son 1: "Wine! I'll just drink it from the bottle!"
Son 2: "That will just make you look like an angry middle-aged woman."

Hierarchy of Deed

Me: "Look. I don't need your judgment."
Son 2: "No, but you're going to get it anyway, so consider it a luxury."

Tex-Sex Cuisine

Son 2: "Wait... you mean a fish taco is a real thing?"