Life Stages

Son 2: "Isn't joining Cirque a normal stage in every pre-menopausal woman's life?"

Sensitive Artist

Me: "Son 2 is going to a poetry reading. We'll have to get him a beret."
Dad: "And a pack of Gitanes."

Will-full Ignorance

Son 2: "Terminator 3 does not exist."
Son 1: "Like there was only 1 Matrix movie, and the Star Wars Christmas special was just an idea."
Dad: "And only one Highlander... there can be only one."

Tech Talk

Dad: "You're learning to program Java? Nice. Next you'll be talking to your mom about Unix."
Son 1: "Yes, but first I'll need to strap on my neck beard."

First World Problems

Me: "Want to read this article about orphanages in India?"
Son 2: "Nope. It will depress me and fill me with white guilt."

Season 2 premiere

Son 2: "Thanks for bringing us presents from your work trip Mom!"
Me: "Thanks for accepting bribes in lieu of actual parenting!"

Locutusmotives

Dad: "You remember when you were really little and into Thomas the Tank Engine, and there was the Diesel 10 train car character with the claw on top that used to freak you out?"
Son 1: "I can see why. It would look like our favorite character had been assimilated by the Borg."

Gender Issues

Son 2: "If you want me to stop being sexist you need to stop being such a stereotype."