Sunday, 28 April 2013
Sole Man
Me: "Nice shoes."
Son 1: "That's what my friends said. I'm not sure. They seem too... fashionable."
Thursday, 25 April 2013
Wickedpedia.
Dad: "When I was a kid, we didn't have the internet. We had libraries."
Son 1: "You got your porn from the library?!"
Sunday, 21 April 2013
Deferred Staff Meeting
Me: "Is it time for another condom conversation?"
Son 1: "Seriously Mom, he's only 14, and I'm never going to have sex. At least not for free."
Tuesday, 16 April 2013
Sunday, 14 April 2013
Casual Eating
Me: "You want me to cut that?"
Son 1: "Nope. Eating a whole half of a pizza is like eating a big slice of cheese-meat watermelon."
Tuesday, 9 April 2013
Senior Slacker
Grandpa: "What do you mean I'm called 'Grandpa' in the blog? Why can't I be 'The Dude'?"
Monday, 8 April 2013
Media Literacy
Me: "Guys, it's kinda a media awareness thing I need to talk to you about... you need to be aware that porn is to real sex like what action movies are to real violence."
Son 2: "You mean AWESOME?!?"
Son 1: "Since they're going to watch it anyway, there should be an internet site of pre-screened porn for teens. You know, child-tested and mom approved!"
Son 2: "Mom. Taking off your glasses and rubbing your eyes won't do anything to impair your hearing..."
Son 1: "... seriously. How could you imagine this conversation would end up anywhere good?"
At The Right Hand of God
Grandpa: "Ralph Klein and Maggie Thatcher are both dead? What a wonderful spring! Since he's in rough shape, maybe Dick Cheney's next. Unfortunately, we probably can't hold out for Stephen Harper."
Sunday, 7 April 2013
Washful Thinking
Son 2: "Hey! The hotel we stayed in had a bidet, or as I call it, an Analtron 3000."
Saturday, 6 April 2013
Objective Reality
Son 1: "Atlas Shrugged: A book so tedious that they had to make it into three movies."
Friday, 5 April 2013
Spelling Beef
Me: "You know, I actually had to learn to spell."
Son 2: "Yeah. I'm sure that used to be a thing."
Wednesday, 3 April 2013
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)