Ethnic Cuisine

Me: "What goes well on Greek lamb-burgers?"
Husband: "I dunno... tatziki, retsina, and a weak Euro?"

Dietary Degradation

Me: "Chocolate Pop Tarts? This is what happens when I go away?"
Son 2: "I tried to stop Dad. I actually really did."

Whoa.

Son 1: "Mom, when I was your age, we didn't have no stinkin' logic. That's how I could have been your age."

Non-Gifting

Me: "When I was away at the Winnipeg Fringe, I didn't see anything you'd particularly like. So I decided to just give you the money I would have spent so you can buy festival junk food here at home."
Son 2: "Awesome! Go to more fringes and buy us less stuff!"

True.

Me: "Did your dad really give you some wine?"
Son 1: "Hey. It makes you funnier."

Alien Encounter

Son 1: "Dad, first you said we could probably watch Alien, then you said it might be too disturbing.  If you keep flip-flopping like this, I’m not going to vote for you again."

Demeanial Tasks

Me: "Please unload the dishwasher for me."
Son 2: "Mom. If we do it, how are you ever going to learn to do it yourself?"