Opinion of Diversity

Son 2: "At school we were trying to figure out what TV character stereotype we each were. We decided John was the ethnic one."
Dad: "Isn't he white and British?"
Son 2: "Yeah."

Statistical Advantage

Dad: "I see your choir has 65 girls and 20 boys. That's a 3.5 to 1 ratio."
Son 2: "Yes! 4.5-way!"

Fore!

Son 1: "In sex ed class we learned it takes 15 minutes of foreplay before a girl can be ready for sexual intercourse."
Me: "I'll get you an egg timer for your birthday."

Game of Bones

Me: "I love Game of Thrones, but I get tired of the gratuitous female nudity. They all look like models with huge breast implants. It feels out of context and pulls me out of the world."
Son 1: "Sounds horrible! Now I want to watch it SO much less than I did before."
Dad: "It's OK son. I'll watch it for both of us."

CaNein

Me: "I saw a show about a human dog... he said something like 'Even though I won't always do what you say, I'll always love you unconditionally'".
Son 1: "Just like me! Except for that second part."

Raw Deal

Me: "That's a lot of cookie dough to eat raw."
Son 1: "Can I take that as a challenge?"

I guess we shouldn't have watched Psycho.

Son 1: "Mom, I love you so much that when you die I'm going to dig up your corpse and use you as an excuse to kill people."