Biblical Portions

Son 2: "Why would God make an animal so delicious then not allow his people to eat them?"
Me: "Well, it's not the biggest logical issue with a literal interpretation of the Bible..."
Son 2: "No. It's the only one. Everything else is fine. That whole ark thing is a perfectly logical explanation for what happened to the unicorns."
Me: "Yes. As written in Rovers 1.45."

Legal Rage

Grandpa: "The internet is 18 years old? No wonder there's so much moronic content."

Pajama Day

Me: "Guys... quiet. Jane Austen isn't Mystery Science Theatre 3000."
Son 1: "That's why we have to make fun of it ourselves."

Christmas 2012 in images

Ball maze puzzle I am required to solve to access the gift card, courtesy of Son 2.

Toblerbone

Traditional Holiday

Son 2: "Mom... you're watching The Forsyte Saga while ironing linen in the kitchen? Holy crap! Could you get anymore housewifey?"

Sacrilicious 2

Son 1: "Someone should make gummy figures of the crucifix and call them 'Sweet Jesus'."

Subculture-clash

Son 1: "Wow. Those glasses are like a hipster mating call."

At least he noticed.

Son 2: "Did you get a haircut?"
Me: "Just a bang trim."
Son 2: "It looks like a 1/4 bowl cut."
Me: "It's fashion."
Son 2: "So are sweatpants."

Discovery.

Son 2: "I think I like disco unironically."

Well Played

Son 2: "My friend's parents won't let her play Portal."
Me: "That's because she has better parents."
Son 2: "Not better, more responsible."