Sunday, 24 February 2013

Megashark vs. Crockasaurus

Son 1: "How did Urkel get in this movie?"
Son 2: "He crawled in through a plot hole."

Sunday, 17 February 2013

Aching Bad

Son 1: "Did you hear about the new problem in retirement homes? Apparently prescription drug abuse is a significant factor in musket violence."

Saturday, 16 February 2013

Divination Manipulation

Son 2: "What's palmistry?"
Me: "It's the practice of predicting your future from the lines of your hand... how long you'll live, how many children you'll have..."
Son 1: "... and if you don't like the outcome, you can always change it with an X-Acto knife."

Friday, 15 February 2013

Heated Argument

Me: "Aladdin thermos was THE original thermos brand!"
Son 2: "Wasn't Thermos the original thermos brand?"
Me: "Shut up."

Saturday, 9 February 2013


Me: "Male prostitutes are usually for men."
Son 2: "Oh. Really?"
Me: "Trust me. I've looked into it."

Sunday, 3 February 2013

Team Spunk!

Son 2: "The school board rejected our official team name."
Me: "Oh?"
Son 2: "I guess they didn't want us wandering around in T-shirts that said 'The MASTERdeBATORS'."

Saturday, 2 February 2013


Me: "Your father will be away for his birthday."
Son 1: "His present is that he doesn't have to deal with us!"
Son 2: "That's the best present we could give him. Other than hookers."