Heart Ache

Grandpa: "I went to the hospital with chest pain, but it turns out I just strained my pecs doing push-ups."

Wreck room

Me: "So to be clear, you guys are going to barricade yourselves in the basement and play video games all night.  And my role is to sequester myself upstairs, order pepperoni & bacon pizza, and ignore the 2 liters of root beer you're pulling out of your backpack?"
Son 2: "Yep."
Me: "Done."