Me: "The mechanic is just going to take the car out for a test drive then it should be done."
Son 1: "Are you sure he's not just taking the minivan out for a joyride?"
Son 2: "Don't be silly. There is no joy riding in a minivan."
Son 2: "I don't understand butt sex. I mean it makes sense if you're gay, but why would you if you're not?"
Me: "Some people like it, for variety."
Son 1: "Variety is the spice of life. That's why that stew I made was so good... thyme, rosemary, garlic and a dash of butt sex. The recipe actually called for double penetration, but it was too expensive."
Son 1: "OK. I have an idea for a PSA. Two Australian girls are driving in a car and laughing, then they look out in front of them and scream. Then the camera swivels around and shows they're driving towards a giant steel wall in the middle of the road surrounded by children. When they hit the wall, a giant geyser of blood shoots out of the car and it forms a mushroom cloud, and the cloud is shaped like a skull. Then the skull starts laughing and grows flesh turning into Adolph Hitler. Then it cuts to black screen with white text that reads: 'Having fun while driving is a Holocaust waiting to happen.'"
Me: "...so... how was driver's ed today?"