Friday, 21 December 2012

At least he noticed.


Son 2: "Did you get a haircut?"
Me: "Just a bang trim."
Son 2: "It looks like a 1/4 bowl cut."
Me: "It's fashion."
Son 2: "So are sweatpants."

Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Monday, 10 December 2012

Well Played


Son 2: "My friend's parents won't let her play Portal."
Me: "That's because she has better parents."
Son 2: "Not better, more responsible."

Friday, 23 November 2012

Paperjerk


Me: "I don't have to fill this school form out. It's only if you want to claim aboriginal status."
Son 2: "Could I anyway?"
Son 1: "And if they ask for proof, just shed a single tear for the environment."

Thursday, 22 November 2012

Black Holes


Me: "The crackers are all gone again?"
Son 2: "As teenagers, we don't have mouths and stomachs, so much as holes that lead to other dimensions."

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Mirdry Racist


Me: "Are we going to watch Firefry tonight?"
Son 2: "Firefry?"
Me: "It's the Chinese knock-off version of Firefly."
Son 1: "It's almost exactly the same, but they speak in Mandarin and swear with terrible English accents."

Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Nommenclature

Son 2: "I like good food. I'd call myself a foodie, but it would make me sound like a douche."