Young punks.

Son 2: "... and then the are the guys with the faux hauks..."
Grandpa: "What's a faux hauk?"
Me: "It's a Mohawk for people who lack commitment."

Slacker High

Me: "How's everything going at school? How are the other kids?"
Grandpa: "Yeah...are you having any bully problems?"
Son 2: "There are no bullies. The douchebags are too apathetic."

The Produce-rs

Son 2: "We watched Plan 9 From Outer Space tonight."

Me: "Wow. Have you watched Attack of the Killer Tomatoes yet?"

Son 2: "No! Was it really meant to be serious?"

Me: "I think so. It came out before they invented irony."

Glowing Up

Grandpa: "Old is better than middle aged. You can see the light at the end of the tunnel."

Dermites

Son 2: "My skin is itchy."
Me: "Do you have a rash?"
Son 2: "No."
Me: "Did you use deodorant?"
Son 2: "No."
Me: "Are you a boy?"
Son 2: "Yeah..."
Me: "Must be cooties."

Pusher Broom

Me: "Oh! After you finish with the broom, could you vacuum the living room?"
Son 2: "I didn't know sweeping was a gateway chore."

Fiction Friction

Me: "So, it seems that Barbie is on the cover of the 2014 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition."
Son 2: "Seriously? That's like having GI Joe on the cover of Guns & Ammo."
Son 1: "Or Optimus Prime on Trucking Today."
Me: "Or ThunderCats on Cat Fancy."